The Flux Capacitor

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Sunday, January 07, 2007

Police blotter from the suburbs...

One of my favorite moments of the week is when the local town newspaper arrives in the mail. Not because I care about the news and happenings of this town. It is because of the "police blotter" column that I find very amusing. It's funny to read about the hijinks that go on in this regular suburban town. Here are some items that I copied out of this past week's newspaper:

"Thursday at 8:40 PM police received a report of a large house party on [street]. Police found the area quiet." Who calls the police about a house party at 8:40 PM? Was there excessive drugs and alcohol at this party? Apparently the party disbanded once the 5-0 made their appearance and all of the partygoers were in bed by 9.

"A [street] resident reported Wednesday at 2:30 PM items had been moved in his yard." Ok, so some random person went into this person's yard and decided to rearrange things around? Without taking anything?

"Youths were reported bothering customers in the area of Marshalls Friday at 5:20 PM." You have to understand that every week there are "youths" doing something that warrants a call to the police. Whether they are starting a fight or driving recklessly or hanging out at the park late at night. I guess this week these youths decided to harrass people at Marshalls.

"A caller reported Friday at 10 PM food was thrown at a vehicle on [street]." Imagine you are just driving along, and all of a sudden food is thrown at you. Who does that?

"A resident reported receving a letter from Canada regarding fraudulent lottery winnings." Those damn Canadians, always trying to get away with something.

"An incident of road rage was reported Friday at 8 AM. A caller said when he pulled into work on [street] the operator of another vehicle pulled in and punched the window of his car." People are nuts. It's scary when I am driving around and someone cuts me off, I honk, and they get pissed and almost get out of their car (which almost happened to Melissa and I this weekend). Imagine someone gets out to punch the window of your car? Freak!

And the best one of the week was:

"Friday at 9:30 AM a resident reported that her mailbox was removed and replaced with a handicap sign."

Ok, when I first read that, I was laughing hysterically. Just picture this. You go outside to check your mail, and your mailbox is gone. Not only is it missing, but there is a handicap sign in its place. That is classic.


  • At 4:01 PM, Blogger chillier said…

    My favorite incidence of road rage happened when I was a teenager and I was sitting at a red light. A car pulled up next to me, and then a car pulled up behind that one. The guy in the second car got out of his car and walked up to the driver's side of the car in front of him, put his hands around the guy's neck, and started strangling him. There were several other people in the car and they just sat there staring. I rolled my windows up and cracked up laughing.


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