Ahhh.

Today has been a good day.

It was like 74 degrees outside, and I enjoyed a little extended lunch sitting out in Copley Park.

I have been listening to a couple of new Pearl Jam songs that I got courtesy of Jack. "Severed Hand" is a really good song. Melissa likes "Unemployable," and I don't blame her.

I have an interview on Wednesday. I really hope this one works out, because it seems like the best one yet. As far as being a good fit goes.

Our condo looks nice and clean and roomy. Pictures were taken in preparation of putting it on the market. It seems empty in places, but it feels very roomy. Someone will be very lucky to buy this place. Special thanks to Professor K for helping in moving some crazy stuff downstairs, and special thanks to C-Dawg for giving us the pleasure that comes with hanging out with her.

It is nice to be in a good mood. It sucks that I am at work and this place blows big time, but I will not let it get me down. The weather is nice, good things are happening, and Melissa keeps feeling the little one moving around.

Happy Friday.

What month is this again?

Time is certainly flying by. I can't believe that April is just around the corner. What is going on, you might ask?

We've started the process of looking for a house and getting our current place to look as nice as possible. We've converted our big closet in the living room into a small office area. I killed the mildew on the bathroom ceiling and painted. We grouted and caulked tiles in the kitchen. And I swept and vacuumed up all the dust that I could.

We also went to look at out first houses yesterday, mostly in Wilmington. Some were ok, but none were perfect. In fact, one of the houses looked amazing inside, but was right next to an industrial area, and the "beautiful" view across the street was a nasty, abandoned house with a dead school bus in the yard.

Also, the job at that law firm... not happening. Again with the supervisory crap. But I set up another interview at another law firm, and this one sounds like a better fit for me. But the interview isn't for another two weeks or so... but nothing else going on with that.

And current work has been busy. School has been annoying lately as well... but only four more weeks of classes for this semester. Just gotta get past a couple of group projects.

I also got tickets to see Pearl Jam for two nights in a row. I'm still waiting for my friend Jack to come through on getting the album early... I can't wait!

But the best thing was that I finally felt the little one moving around a bit in Melissa's belly. Twice! That is the most exciting thing. What I keep thinking about is that by the time our little girl arrives, I will hopefully have a new job, a new home, finally finished the MBA program and getting used to living in a new town and driving to the commuter rail to get to work. So by the time the baby comes, I can enjoy it completely.

Interviewing...

Today I went on another interview, with a law firm located in the World Trade Center area. I got to put on a new suit for the first time, and head over to this place. I think it went well... as expected, they drilled me on supervsory experience, and I did all that I can to pimp the fact that I can do it, and have been doing it for the past two years, but I do have a lot to learn and I would welcome the challenge. I did my best, so now it is up to this place to determine whether or not they want me. I don't know how long it would take to come up with a decision... they did say I was the first one they interviewed for this position. So I will have to wait and see!

Since it has been so busy, I have not been able to discuss what has been going on lately. The good stuff - I got Pearl Jam tickets!! The fan club presale was Saturday at 1 PM, and somehow I managed to get tickets by 12:59. I am so psyched!

We are also starting the process of looking for a new house. I know Melissa wants to move before the baby arrives, so we don't have a ton of time, but we can make it happen.

As for the weird stuff - the situation at work. L started on Monday, and we have not really spoken much since she started (and I took off today). It's not like i am avoiding her... true, there isn't much to talk about right now, but I think we both know how weird the situation is, and we are both dealing with it in our own ways. I guess I am just looking for the right time to sit down with her and just talk about what is going on. I know it is just a temporary situation for me, and eventually it will be a better situation for the both of us. Besides, I have so many other things going on right now that I have no time to really worry about what is going on with her. I just need to keep interviewing, do the house looking thing, and continue to be very excited about having a baby soon. That stuff is most important.

Obsessions...

I'm feeling a little bit better today. Not for any particular reason, but I am learning to deal with the situation I have been dealt a little bit better. It is inevitable that I will be here next week when L starts, but I will be fine. Bring it on. And I know it is just a temporary situation for me. So in time, everything will be much better for me.

But I am also obsessed about other things, which Melissa might say that I have been obsessing over way too much. The first is "24." This week's episode was awesome. Two hours, and ended with the death of Edgar, which was so sad. And the next episodes look like they will be great. I can't wait!

I am also obsessing about Pearl Jam. I know I always obsess over them, but never more than when they are about to put out a new album and go on tour. They already put out their first single "World Wide Suicide" and is now available to download for free on pearljam.com. The more I listen to that song, the more I love it. I also found out that they are touring, and will be stopping in Boston on May 24. Fan club presale tickets go on sale this Saturday, and I will definitely be buying a pair (they won't let me buy more than two, though).

Also, baseball is coming back soon. Spring training has begin. Winter is almost over. Those are good things, aren't they? :)

And the search continues.

I didn't get that job.

The recruiter told me that the manager really wanted me, but the controller has his concerns. He thought that because of the conversion they are going through, the manager wouldn't be able to spend a lot of time with me, and that I might be overwhelmed supervising 17 people. While it isn't ideal to supervise that many people, I could handle it. And it is certainly better than being here.

What I was wondering is, what are they looking for then? How are they going to find a supervisor with the software experience, and someone who has supervised many people before? Good luck to them, because it might take them awhile to find their "perfect" person.

So now I am back at square one. I am meeting with ANOTHER recruiter tomorrow, and I think the total of recruiters is now at 4 million. Or maybe ten... who's counting. I hope someone can come up with something soon.

But this basically means that I will still be here when Lauren starts in a week. How weird is that going to be?

It's a Worldwide Suicide...

Thanks to the Red Mosquito message board, here are the lyrics (or as close to them as possible) to the new Pearl Jam song, "Worldwide Suicide," which I was lucky enough to hear in its entirety today:

WORLDWIDE SUICIDE
(lyrics: Vedder, music: Gossard)

I felt the earth on Monday. It moved beneath my feet.
In the form of a morning paper. Laid out for me to see.

Saw his face in a corner picture. I recognized the name.
Could not stop staring at the. Face I'd never see again.

It's a shame to awake in a world of pain
What does it mean when a war has taken over

It's the same everyday in a hell manmade
What can be saved, and who will be left to hold her?

The whole world...World over.
It's a worldwide suicide.

Medals on a wooden mantle. Next to a handsome face.
That the president took for granted.
Writing checks that others pay.

And in all the madness. Thought becomes numb and naive.
So much to talk about. Nothing for to say.

It's the same everyday and the wave won't break
Tell you to pray, while the devils on their shoulder

Laying claim to the take that our soldiers save
Does not equate, and the truth's already out there

The whole world,... World over.
It's a worldwide suicide.

The whole world,... World over.
It's a worldwide suicide.

Looking in the eyes of the fallen
You got to know there's another, another, another, another
Another way

It's a shame to awake in a world of pain
What does it mean when a war has taken over

It's the same everyday and the wave won't break
Tell you to pray, while the devils on their shoulder

The whole world,... World over.
It's a worldwide suicide.

The whole world,... World over.
It's a worldwide suicide.

Still waiting...

I know I haven't updated in awhile. But I have been busy worrying about this job thing and trying to get things going.

I did finally get to go on a second interview at the law firm, this past Tuesday. I took the whole day off from work, put on my new suit, and went... and I think it went well. But who knows, ya know? I am still waiting to hear back from the recruiter about it... they are having a hard time getting in touch with the people at the firm, since they have been stuck in tons of meetings all week. I just hope I can find out for sure tomorrow.

And as for work now, I am so depressed there. The more I am there, the more I get to tell people I actually like, and the more the whole thing just seems shady. Like how L's boss and my boss are friends? And how even though her name is already on the office door, people are being all hush hush about it? And no one in the bad circle is even talking to me about it, or even talking to me much at all, except about work things? Everyone I talk to has agreed that the whole thing is fucked up.

I have been there for five plus years. i have busted my ass there. My old boss didn't know shit, or at least not as much as me. I handled all the grunt work, and made sure the department was held together. All the office managers in our other locations love me. The consultants around the Boston office rely on me a lot. But these people didn't take anything into consideration. Maybe because I didn't kiss a lot of ass, or because I didn't join their "click," or because I don't sit Indian style in my boss' office, they didn't care.

Now a lot of people have been telling me that these things happen for a reason, and I will get a better job. I totally agree. But I am still pissed off... they should have given me the choice of whether or not I wanted to stay, not to force the issue. They owed it to me. But it just proves what scumbags they all are. No loyalty. No respect.

And to make matters worse, my boss basically pretends like nothing is wrong, and just asks me to do stuff as usual. Although we do avoid each other more. And i try to avoid as many people as possible.

But then as for the job search, besides this one law firm, I haven't been able to go on any other interviews. I spoke to about eight recruiters. You would have figured that they would be throwing everything at me? Nothing. They keep telling me they have nothing now, after telling me what a great resume i have and that there would be tons of stuff.

As for L, it's still weird. We never got to go to lunch to discuss our feelings. But honestly, I don't feel the need to anymore. It's still awkward and weird, and always will be. I can't imagine the thought of if I am still at this place on March 13 when she starts. I would never consider her my boss. And I would never train her on anything. And L, if you do read this entry, and I don't care if you do, I keep thinking about it, and if I were in your position, I would have never interviewed for the job in the first place. I would keep thinking what might happen, and it would not be worth it to do that to a friend. I don't care how many times they would ask me to come in. Even if you think you are out of a job in June, you would still have lots of time to find something. Just because this fell in your lap at my expense does not make it right. Those are my thoughts, and I am sorry, but i am being honest.

So the only things keeping me going are Melissa, our future little girl, and my friends. And "24: The Game" that I got for PS2. Oh, and the fact that Pearl Jam's new single, "Worldwide Suicide" is available to download for free next week, and their new self-titled album comes out on May 2. And hopefully by then, I will have been at my new job for a few months, and I will be beginning my last semester as a grad student.